Michael Collins vs Mu Gung Hwa, 1-2...oooo the shame!

There were high hopes ahead of the clash with Mu Gung Hwa. After all, nobody
ever loses to the Koreans, do they? Last season they even managed to lose to
the even more inept Dragon United, so this was a chance to enjoy the
delightful scenery of Vallbona and three even more certain points than
England at home to Croatia.

But things didn't look quite as promising when we found we had only just
managed to scrape together eleven players, and the bench was occupied by the
suspended Zugi and his very bored looking girlfriend. To make matters worse,
Lucho was injured and in no state to play, and the other full back, Chris,
was anything but one hundred per cent either.

But once things got under way, it looked like this was going to be plain
sailing for the Bhoys in green and white. The Koreans were hopelessly inept
in midfield, their forwards may have been fast but were hardly threatening,
and they had a substitute goalkeeper who never used his hands and wasn't
much better with his feet.

A few promising attacks from the Collins and a few feeble efforts from the
Koreans, and the bookies were already paying out. This game had a five or
six goal win written all over it. Sure enough, some ten or fifteen minutes
into the game and Lluis struck home the opening goal with a shot that was
made to look a lot better than it really was by the fact that the goalkeeper
didn't bother trying to save it.

That was the wake up call the Koreans needed, and as the half drew on, they
started looking more and more dangerous, although their forwards couldn't
hit a barn door with a broomstick or whatever the saying is, and Jordi
expertly dealt with any miskicks that actually hit the target. Instead of
sewing things up there and then with a couple more goals before half time,
the Collins sat back and allowed the Koreans more and more chances, and we
were finally made to pay when one of their forwards exploited the fact that
Lucho was unable to run by running into acres of space and sticking away the
equaliser. This was a minor setback, and we all expected normal service to
resume after the break.

Unfortunately, where the Collins is concerned, normal service isn't perhaps
half as good as we would like to think it is. It's hard to find anything
positive at all about the second half, as our poor fitness started to show,
and a desperate lack of ideas up front failed to threaten Mu Gung Hwa's
stand-in goalkeeper. The best chance to wrap it all up come in when Adam was
through on goal but rather than slot the ball home, he opted to pass the
ball to Ian, despite the fact that he was in an offside position at the
time. Summed the day up nicely.

With Gerry also injured but no subs to replace him, from expecting to coast
to victory, the Collins found themselves desperately hanging on for the
draw. And with five minutes left on the clock, disaster. Richard stuck out a
leg to tackle the nippy (get it?) Korean forward who was through on goal,
and down went the wee git like a ton of bricks as if his ankle had just
become detached from the rest of his body.

Referee Chelsea John immediately pointed to the spot while the Collins
defence was outraged at this potential Oscar winning performance that was
about to cost us the match. For no apparent reason, Jordi's protests seemed
to hit a particularly nasty chord among our oriental opponents, and a
certain member of their team called Yassir ran the length of the penalty
area and went in feet first in an attempt to turn Jordi's leg into a
boomerang. Canadians play ice hockey so they are used to this kind of stuff,
so Jordi coolly throttled his assailant and allowed other players to drag
him away to Chelsea John for trial, and the verdict, and quite rightly so,
was a red card.

Back to the game, and the diving little imp took the penalty himself,
celebrated with a most ungentlemanly gesture towards our keeper, and we were
2-1 down.

It was in the final minutes of the game that the Collins finally worked out
that a bit of attacking football would not go amiss, but it was all too
little, too desperate and too late. We left the pitch with our heads held in
shame, having lost to the team nobody ever loses to, and despite the nasty
incidents towards the end, you have got to hand it to the Koreans. They don't
often get to enjoy winning matches, but at the end of the day, the Collins
only have ourselves (and a few injuries and absent substitutes) to blame and
Mu Gung Hwa rightful winners. Ooh, it hurts to say that.