Michael Collins vs Storesnay 7-1 woohoo

After the match that cannot be mentioned the week before, i asked the team to show what they were made of, and prove to the rest of the league that we weren't going to be this seasons whipping boys. And they made me proud!!

Dom returned to bully the opposing defence, and Zugi was back from suspension, but without Lucho, Jerry, Chris, Javi and Adam, the team was looking a little threadbare again. Carlos came to the rescue with his friend Alberto, and Tomiu, joined us on the bench.

The game was so surprising that i actually forget when the goals went in, so its probably not going to be factually correct but from what i can remember.....

Storesnay were playing 4-5-1 and their gollywog striker although quick was easily marshalled by the centre backs. Our wingbacks pushed up and kept him sorely lacking in support. Lluis was running like a greyhound on the left wing and his marker was completely out of his depth. To stop their packed midfield running the game, we opted simply to miss it out by firing long balls at Doms head and letting Ian and Lluis pick up the pieces. It worked so well one might wonder why we don't do it all the time, in fact......

Lluis darted past his despairing defender and slotted calmly for 1-0 quite early on, and we were determined not to let the post goal confusion rattle us and allow an easy equaliser. The pressure continued and Ian bagged a goal soon after calming us down and showing that we can score more than one per game. Tom was sent to the dressing room for a small graze on his knee and we had to use a substitution by a very petty referee. Tomiu went to left back and immediately took the ball upfield on a long mazy run. Not a bad find but definitely wanted to get forward. Dom scored soon afterwards which he deserved for bossing the penalty area. A silly 5 minutes allowed Storesnay to get a goal back when we started to pass the ball about in front of goal but before the break Lluis was dragged down for a penalty and Kyle took it with style. Shellshocked, we retired to the changing room, the only blot being that we had 3 yellow cards for kicking the ball after the whistle had gone, nonsense and the ref was being pathetic.

The second half started with 4 changes for them, but much the same for us. Alberto came on for Mike and soon afterwards, Tom replaced the very good Hugo in centre mid for thigh strain. This meant no more subs, but plenty more goals to come. Dom added another soon afterwards and Lluis capped his man of the match performance with another goal and a penalty. Their forwards were trying spectacular dives and complaining relentlessly. Tom was trying his hardest to wind them up by commenting on their captains parentage being linked to poultry, and recieving an elbow for his troubles. Jordi was obviously bored in goal so began his brawl starting behaviour but their striker was so fed up he walked off. Ian got a second yellow from the pedant in the black for handball, and Jordi got one fot timewasting. At 7-1 with 3 minutes to go, why would you timewaste?????

Either way, it was a wonderful performance, and sets us up nicely for Dynamo on saturday.

Michael Collins vs Mu Gung Hwa, 1-2...oooo the shame!

There were high hopes ahead of the clash with Mu Gung Hwa. After all, nobody
ever loses to the Koreans, do they? Last season they even managed to lose to
the even more inept Dragon United, so this was a chance to enjoy the
delightful scenery of Vallbona and three even more certain points than
England at home to Croatia.

But things didn't look quite as promising when we found we had only just
managed to scrape together eleven players, and the bench was occupied by the
suspended Zugi and his very bored looking girlfriend. To make matters worse,
Lucho was injured and in no state to play, and the other full back, Chris,
was anything but one hundred per cent either.

But once things got under way, it looked like this was going to be plain
sailing for the Bhoys in green and white. The Koreans were hopelessly inept
in midfield, their forwards may have been fast but were hardly threatening,
and they had a substitute goalkeeper who never used his hands and wasn't
much better with his feet.

A few promising attacks from the Collins and a few feeble efforts from the
Koreans, and the bookies were already paying out. This game had a five or
six goal win written all over it. Sure enough, some ten or fifteen minutes
into the game and Lluis struck home the opening goal with a shot that was
made to look a lot better than it really was by the fact that the goalkeeper
didn't bother trying to save it.

That was the wake up call the Koreans needed, and as the half drew on, they
started looking more and more dangerous, although their forwards couldn't
hit a barn door with a broomstick or whatever the saying is, and Jordi
expertly dealt with any miskicks that actually hit the target. Instead of
sewing things up there and then with a couple more goals before half time,
the Collins sat back and allowed the Koreans more and more chances, and we
were finally made to pay when one of their forwards exploited the fact that
Lucho was unable to run by running into acres of space and sticking away the
equaliser. This was a minor setback, and we all expected normal service to
resume after the break.

Unfortunately, where the Collins is concerned, normal service isn't perhaps
half as good as we would like to think it is. It's hard to find anything
positive at all about the second half, as our poor fitness started to show,
and a desperate lack of ideas up front failed to threaten Mu Gung Hwa's
stand-in goalkeeper. The best chance to wrap it all up come in when Adam was
through on goal but rather than slot the ball home, he opted to pass the
ball to Ian, despite the fact that he was in an offside position at the
time. Summed the day up nicely.

With Gerry also injured but no subs to replace him, from expecting to coast
to victory, the Collins found themselves desperately hanging on for the
draw. And with five minutes left on the clock, disaster. Richard stuck out a
leg to tackle the nippy (get it?) Korean forward who was through on goal,
and down went the wee git like a ton of bricks as if his ankle had just
become detached from the rest of his body.

Referee Chelsea John immediately pointed to the spot while the Collins
defence was outraged at this potential Oscar winning performance that was
about to cost us the match. For no apparent reason, Jordi's protests seemed
to hit a particularly nasty chord among our oriental opponents, and a
certain member of their team called Yassir ran the length of the penalty
area and went in feet first in an attempt to turn Jordi's leg into a
boomerang. Canadians play ice hockey so they are used to this kind of stuff,
so Jordi coolly throttled his assailant and allowed other players to drag
him away to Chelsea John for trial, and the verdict, and quite rightly so,
was a red card.

Back to the game, and the diving little imp took the penalty himself,
celebrated with a most ungentlemanly gesture towards our keeper, and we were
2-1 down.

It was in the final minutes of the game that the Collins finally worked out
that a bit of attacking football would not go amiss, but it was all too
little, too desperate and too late. We left the pitch with our heads held in
shame, having lost to the team nobody ever loses to, and despite the nasty
incidents towards the end, you have got to hand it to the Koreans. They don't
often get to enjoy winning matches, but at the end of the day, the Collins
only have ourselves (and a few injuries and absent substitutes) to blame and
Mu Gung Hwa rightful winners. Ooh, it hurts to say that.

Collins Vs West Ham - 0-3

Well this was always going to be a tough game, against the league leaders, with the leagues top scorer for the previous 4 seasons, but we still went into the game with confidence as the previous 2 performances were good enough to merit something from the game. The problems started when 5 minutes before the start of the game we found that Adam, Javi, and Gary weren't going to be there and the teamsheet and tactics had to change completely. We did however welcome back Jerry who has been missed on the right wing, and Carlos appeared helping to add a much needed sub.

Carlos's job was to shadow Kike the striker, thankless task for anyone, this meant that Ian was up front on his own, and the wingers were there to support him. A defensive midfield of Zugi and Tom was used to shore up the middle of the park, and Lucho, Mike, Dom, and Chris started at the back.

The first 20 minutes were as usual pretty even, with the Collins getting a few chances but looking a little light up front. Ian worked hard but wasn't seeing much of the ball, and Lluis and Jerry gamely tried to support. Carlos drifted a few times but in all the forward line of West Ham was contained well. On about the 40th minute disaster struck, the wonderful defending lapsed for a heartbeat and an exquisite piece of skill from West Hams midfielder as he spun on the spot and rifled a postage stamp shot past the despairing hand of jordi. 1-0 West Ham. Half time came and we didn't have much to change. the strikers were havinga tough time of it, and Carlos was starting to tire but without the expected replacements there wasn't much we could do.

We started the second half on the back foot and 10 minutes in, a scrambled goalmouth goal slipped past everyone, and it was time for a change. Hugo, who had come on for an injured Lucho at left back in the first half was injured himself but Carlos was on his last legs, so Richard came on for Carlos, and Hugo had to suffer on. Dom was pushed up front and started to cause damage immediately. Within seconds though, Kike left a stranded Richard and fired past jordi for 3-0, always a danger when changing centre backs mid game. From there on in though, it was very even, the last 25 minutes were very positive. Dom was winning everything in the air up front and giving Ian and Lluis something to work with. Jerry went off injured and James came on up the right. We started pushing them on the back foot but unfortunately no goal was forthcoming and the whistle came too soon for us. We can't complain about the scoreline really, they were a better attacking force than us, but the last minute change of plans didn't help. Maybe we showed them too much respect and limited our firepower, but it was a strong performence by most of our players and something to build on. Carlos had a great game, as did Hugo, but Dom was the most influential player in the game, and won the MOM award. Zugi got sent off for a stupid argument at the end with the Narcissitic referee and will miss next weeks match.